Saturday, December 1, 2012

Dear NaNoWriMo,

It's not you, it's me.

Actually, it's more the way I write and my whole idea process. I love every single thing you stand for,new stories, writing motivation, a sense of community and an actual deadline. We were supposed to be magical together. I was going to get SO MUCH WRITING done because of you. However, I didn't.

To be fair, it wasn't entirely your fault. Who knew a November could be so jam packed with fun things to do? My motivation wasn't the best, medical issues were involved and after all I didn't enter into this relationship with a plan. I thought I could be a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pantser. Well, we saw how great that particular idea worked.

Our relationship wasn't a total wreck, I did learn a few things from you. For instance, pressuring myself into committing to a deadline before I have a solid idea is a horrible decision. You did give me about 3,000 words I wouldn't have written otherwise. Also, books can change without the author's permission. Remember when Revelry was in first person and involved all that weird mythology? Yeah, it won't even listen to me now. All it wants are tattoos, fancy dresses, magic, a third person narrator and different points of view. Where did I go wrong? It turned out so much more complicated and interesting than I ever thought possible. It is not a book that I can spit out in a month. On the bright side, since I chronically avoided writing "the difficult book" I came up with all sorts of new stories which were much simpler. It really is too bad they came after the halfway point. I had no hope of catching up.

Where you failed NaNo, or where I felt you were failing me, is in your intensity. There was a HUGE pressure to produce bearing down on me. Every time I walked away from the computer screen with only a hundred or so words, I felt like a failure. This put a big dent in my almost non-existence writing confidence. As a new writer that was exactly the type of thing I did not need.

I can never back down from a challenge though, especially one as intoxicating as you. I am going to take this separation and run with it, writing without a killer deadline. This time, I'm going to enjoy it. In a year we can re-evaluate. Hopefully things won't be as busy then.


A hearty cheer to all of those who participated in NaNo! I'm very proud of and happy for all of you! You are a bunch of BAMFS! I would also like to give a special thanks to Susan Dennard and Sarah J. Maas. Both of you were incredible in hosting online word wars, providing advice, motivation and promising critiques to NaNo giveaway winners. I remember multiple times I was discouraged and mad at myself over my writing. Seeing your tweets and being able to talk to the both of you made me feel about 1,000 times better. You both got me through my NaNo-hating days.

Also, a HUGE, AWESOME, WONDERFUL, PERFECT AMAZING congratulations to my BAMF Momma who won NaNo! I am so proud of her! 

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